The best explanation I ever heard about New Year's Eve was from How I Met Your Mother. During the initial voice-over for the New Year's Eve episode, the main character says:
"Kids, the thing about New Year's Eve is that it sucks. Sure it looks great on TV, but in reality it is always just a big letdown."
That is exactly how I feel. I'm an introvert. I prefer cuddling in my pajamas at home, with a book. I'm also a guilt-ridden over-achiever who always tries to live up to expectations.
So I feel guilty about staying home on New Year's Eve. I feel guilty about preferring to be by myself. Like I'm missing out on this great party that everyone else is at. Everything is supposed to be sparkly, and there should be confetti and laughing people, with perfectly applied make-up.
The truth is, New Year's Eve is a completely made-up holiday. It celebrates nothing but the changing of the year. Which is based on the vastly flawed Gregorian calendar, only adopted in the 16th century. That's why the Chinese New Year is celebrated at a different time, as well as the Jewish New Year. Several other religious and cultural calendars have their own New Year's. There is nothing special about the clock changing on this particular day. Especially when you take the hotly disputed Daylight Saving Time into account.
So last night, I arrived home after 29 straight hours of driving. (That's a subject for a different post about holiday travel.) I had a sore throat and plugged sinuses. I showered and curled up in front of the TV with a bowl of popcorn for some cheesy movie re-runs. I celebrated New York's time-change by eating a chocolate bar and drinking some peppermint tea. Then I went to bed, before the pacific time zone clock changed.
It was wonderful. And even better is the relief I feel this morning, knowing I have a full year to find a more extravagant way to spend next year's holiday and my current concern is only remembering to write 2012 on my checks.
Next we can talk about why St. Patrick's Day is actually the best holiday ever.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
A Series of Unfortunate Events
In case I had any misconceptions about being a young adult, the party I hosted last night took care of them.
A bunch of old college friends wanted to get together and have a Christmas "reunion" of sorts. Everyone brought some treats, some brought drinks, it was a casual affair. Until bad choices were made. On multiple accounts.
First, old friends tend to revert you to old ways. Sometimes this isn't a problem. This time it was. Add in some very extreme emotional underpinnings among some of the attendees, along with an inability to shut up - well, let's just say not much is sacred. Secrets were shared that shouldn't have been. Privacy conventions were abandoned. Then Bosom Buddy decided to get sloshed and was rendered useless. Since she's normally the only dose of sanity I can count on, I was left on my own.
Somehow it was decided that the party should move to a more public venue. An idea no one really liked, yet continued to follow along with. I vehemently objected to this and actually opted to stay home. (We can discuss my introverted ways later)
Rather upset at the turn of events, I graded some papers and went to bed.
This morning I heard someone leaving the house. With 2 other roommates and frequent guests I was not at all worried. I walked out to the kitchen to find a note from one of last night's guests that thanked us for letting her stay the night, apologized for "being such a mess" and explained that she had cleaned up the couch and pillows with disinfecting wipes.
Apparently throughout the course of the night she had begun to vomit on our couch, caught it all in a throw pillow and finally made her way to the bathroom. WHICH SHE CLEANED UP WITH DISINFECTING WIPES!!!!!!
She left without talking to us, leaving a vomit-soaked pillow on the patio, an enormous stain on our couch and much to my wondering eyes, a stack of vomit-covered wipes piled haphazardly upon our overflowing trashcan.
I don't begrudge someone a bit of unexpected stomach trouble. My own is rather queasy most of the time. But not properly cleaning up, and leaving before we've awakened? RUDE! Plus there's a history with this person that involves a wedding reception in a 5-star hotel and a potted plant.
Add to this that one of my other friends removed a mirror from our wall and tore down decorations because he was bored, my home feels rather violated. As an introvert, my home is my castle. I do a lot to keep it just so, and am personally offended when people treat it poorly. And that they didn't even bother to stay long enough to really enjoy it? Leaves you feeling used and abused.
Had we enjoyed a wonderful evening of uplifting company and rekindling of friendships I might feel as though it was all worth it. But that's nowhere near what happened.
Perhaps it is a lesson in humility for me. I judge The Riches' frat-boy and sorority-girl partying, all the while my "good" friends are just as bad. (Although to give Bosom Buddy credit she didn't make a mess and woke up at 5am to drive someone to the airport. She then returned for a formal chewing-out, which she took admirably. I was merciless.)
All day, as I've trekked back and forth to our single coin-operated laundry machine - with non-functioning dryer - using chemicals, bleach and baking soda, I've gone over the events in my head.
When did this happen? When did it become ok to act like this? To borrow an assortment of inspired lyrics; What have we become? A self-indulgent people. We were meant to live for so much more.
A bunch of old college friends wanted to get together and have a Christmas "reunion" of sorts. Everyone brought some treats, some brought drinks, it was a casual affair. Until bad choices were made. On multiple accounts.
First, old friends tend to revert you to old ways. Sometimes this isn't a problem. This time it was. Add in some very extreme emotional underpinnings among some of the attendees, along with an inability to shut up - well, let's just say not much is sacred. Secrets were shared that shouldn't have been. Privacy conventions were abandoned. Then Bosom Buddy decided to get sloshed and was rendered useless. Since she's normally the only dose of sanity I can count on, I was left on my own.
Somehow it was decided that the party should move to a more public venue. An idea no one really liked, yet continued to follow along with. I vehemently objected to this and actually opted to stay home. (We can discuss my introverted ways later)
Rather upset at the turn of events, I graded some papers and went to bed.
This morning I heard someone leaving the house. With 2 other roommates and frequent guests I was not at all worried. I walked out to the kitchen to find a note from one of last night's guests that thanked us for letting her stay the night, apologized for "being such a mess" and explained that she had cleaned up the couch and pillows with disinfecting wipes.
Apparently throughout the course of the night she had begun to vomit on our couch, caught it all in a throw pillow and finally made her way to the bathroom. WHICH SHE CLEANED UP WITH DISINFECTING WIPES!!!!!!
She left without talking to us, leaving a vomit-soaked pillow on the patio, an enormous stain on our couch and much to my wondering eyes, a stack of vomit-covered wipes piled haphazardly upon our overflowing trashcan.
I don't begrudge someone a bit of unexpected stomach trouble. My own is rather queasy most of the time. But not properly cleaning up, and leaving before we've awakened? RUDE! Plus there's a history with this person that involves a wedding reception in a 5-star hotel and a potted plant.
Add to this that one of my other friends removed a mirror from our wall and tore down decorations because he was bored, my home feels rather violated. As an introvert, my home is my castle. I do a lot to keep it just so, and am personally offended when people treat it poorly. And that they didn't even bother to stay long enough to really enjoy it? Leaves you feeling used and abused.
Had we enjoyed a wonderful evening of uplifting company and rekindling of friendships I might feel as though it was all worth it. But that's nowhere near what happened.
Perhaps it is a lesson in humility for me. I judge The Riches' frat-boy and sorority-girl partying, all the while my "good" friends are just as bad. (Although to give Bosom Buddy credit she didn't make a mess and woke up at 5am to drive someone to the airport. She then returned for a formal chewing-out, which she took admirably. I was merciless.)
All day, as I've trekked back and forth to our single coin-operated laundry machine - with non-functioning dryer - using chemicals, bleach and baking soda, I've gone over the events in my head.
When did this happen? When did it become ok to act like this? To borrow an assortment of inspired lyrics; What have we become? A self-indulgent people. We were meant to live for so much more.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Legit
It's been awhile.
But it turns out - that when you have a legitimate job, with legitimate responsibilities, you don't have as much time for blogging!
I started my job in the library.
They gave me my own key.
To the entire library!
But it turns out - that when you have a legitimate job, with legitimate responsibilities, you don't have as much time for blogging!
I started my job in the library.
They gave me my own key.
To the entire library!
Childhood Dream: Realized!
I have to admit, I kind of wish it looked a little more like this:
But, I suppose I can't be picky. I mean, I finally have a job I enjoy, with real responsibilities, and a flexible schedule and non-traditional hours.
Plus, I've been teaching on the weekends, and developing a new course curriculum. Which kind of puts that whole graduate degree thing to use!
It seems my friends, that everything is coming up roses.
The only drawback being that I don't have endless hours to spend updating my blog or staring at Pinterest.
So now, hi-ho, hi-ho it's off to work I go. And I'm not even dreading it!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Right, Wrong, and Whatever's In-Between
I came across this today:
Speak out when evil runs amuck. Never let fear of reprisal keep you from doing the honorable thing. Be valiant. Protect the weak, the innocent and the needy. Use your voice, your strength, your mind, your vote, your prayers and your money to do the right thing. Never confuse appeasement with peacemaking.
-Alli Worthington
I think she and I could have a great conversation.
I've been realizing how similar I am to my dad. I've always noticed traits from one parent or the other in me, but recently I'm noticing these deep undercurrents of world views that we share.
My dad has a certain level of righteous indignation that you might have noticed from me. Like maybe here. If something is wrong, he can't just let it be. If it's wrong, something needs to be done. Take a stand, enforce consequences. As a friend put it; "Yeah, I wouldn't want to cross either one of you".
There are times when this is detrimental. For instance, I'm not sure I really understood the elements of grace while growing up. However there is a respectable amount of fervor in this attitude. When seemingly-mundane daily decisions are given careful thought as to their long-term consequences, it stands to reason that we won't be sliding quickly down a slippery slope.
I also came across this article today:
As the number of children born through artificial insemination increases, concern is growing about having many children fathered by the same donors. NYTimes
Interesting. A decision that seemed simple and easy; donate sperm for those who want to conceive, has some unintended consequences. You can imagine, 150 children with the same father, the chances that they will come across one another increase. What if they accidentally date each other? (Ewwwww!) There's some very serious problems that might arise from decisions made decades ago.
I'm not pointing this article out because I have an opinion against sperm donors, assisted pregnancies or anything else in that area. I'm pointing it out because I think it highlights an example of when something "Seemed like a good idea at the time" and ended up having far reaching effects that hadn't been thought through. Maybe those who had some reservations in the beginning didn't speak up, and now we are addressing them decades later. Maybe there's nothing wrong with it, but shouldn't we be sure of that before the fact?
I see this happening on a lesser scale everyday. We let someone behave badly toward us, we accept a decision we're not comfortable with, we sit idly by when we know there is a change that should occur, we ignore personal slights in the name of peace.
I'm not sure where the balance between grace, peace-keeping and pragmatism coincides with justice, consequences, and valiance.
It's easy to identify major decisions where this applies; wars, crimes against humanity, politics, but it's a lot murkier when it comes to smaller-scale decisions. Decisions like hurtful friendships, abiding by the boss' mandate, irresponsibility.
If you consider that most of the major conflicts between right and wrong are the result of several minor grey-area conflicts, when is acceptable to take a stand? Where should you turn a blind eye in the name of harmony and personality differences, and where should you speak out, even if it means difficult reprisals?
Any ideas? Is there a universally accepted line we can toe? Anyone?
Speak out when evil runs amuck. Never let fear of reprisal keep you from doing the honorable thing. Be valiant. Protect the weak, the innocent and the needy. Use your voice, your strength, your mind, your vote, your prayers and your money to do the right thing. Never confuse appeasement with peacemaking.
-Alli Worthington
I think she and I could have a great conversation.
I've been realizing how similar I am to my dad. I've always noticed traits from one parent or the other in me, but recently I'm noticing these deep undercurrents of world views that we share.
My dad has a certain level of righteous indignation that you might have noticed from me. Like maybe here. If something is wrong, he can't just let it be. If it's wrong, something needs to be done. Take a stand, enforce consequences. As a friend put it; "Yeah, I wouldn't want to cross either one of you".
There are times when this is detrimental. For instance, I'm not sure I really understood the elements of grace while growing up. However there is a respectable amount of fervor in this attitude. When seemingly-mundane daily decisions are given careful thought as to their long-term consequences, it stands to reason that we won't be sliding quickly down a slippery slope.
I also came across this article today:
As the number of children born through artificial insemination increases, concern is growing about having many children fathered by the same donors. NYTimes
Interesting. A decision that seemed simple and easy; donate sperm for those who want to conceive, has some unintended consequences. You can imagine, 150 children with the same father, the chances that they will come across one another increase. What if they accidentally date each other? (Ewwwww!) There's some very serious problems that might arise from decisions made decades ago.
I'm not pointing this article out because I have an opinion against sperm donors, assisted pregnancies or anything else in that area. I'm pointing it out because I think it highlights an example of when something "Seemed like a good idea at the time" and ended up having far reaching effects that hadn't been thought through. Maybe those who had some reservations in the beginning didn't speak up, and now we are addressing them decades later. Maybe there's nothing wrong with it, but shouldn't we be sure of that before the fact?
I see this happening on a lesser scale everyday. We let someone behave badly toward us, we accept a decision we're not comfortable with, we sit idly by when we know there is a change that should occur, we ignore personal slights in the name of peace.
I'm not sure where the balance between grace, peace-keeping and pragmatism coincides with justice, consequences, and valiance.
It's easy to identify major decisions where this applies; wars, crimes against humanity, politics, but it's a lot murkier when it comes to smaller-scale decisions. Decisions like hurtful friendships, abiding by the boss' mandate, irresponsibility.
If you consider that most of the major conflicts between right and wrong are the result of several minor grey-area conflicts, when is acceptable to take a stand? Where should you turn a blind eye in the name of harmony and personality differences, and where should you speak out, even if it means difficult reprisals?
Any ideas? Is there a universally accepted line we can toe? Anyone?
Saturday, August 13, 2011
You Can't Go Home Again
I haven't posted in a long time, because I've been on vacation.
My favorite kind of vacation.
Going Home.
Well, one of my homes. I was born and lived in Guatemala until I was seven years old. That might seem really young, but when you think that everything I ever knew until the end of first grade was Latin America during a civil war, it might make sense why I had such a hard time adjusting to life in Canada. Rural, farm-country Canada then made it difficult to adjust to Southern California. Sometimes my life feels like it has been one big difficult adjustment.
I love going back to Guate. I love the fact that I can get sunburnt and monsooned in the same day. I love that when the lightening cracks, you see it in a bright straight line right down to the ground. I love how things grow everywhere, any patch of dirt sports an exotic plant. I love how green it is. I love that when you go to McDonald's it's like a nice restaurant, for a fraction of the price, and that they clear your table for you. I love that you have to kiss everyone hello and goodbye, even though in a big group this means it'll be at least 10 minutes before you can actually leave. I love that time stands still, and the whole afternoon seems to stretch into days. I love the smell of the grocery store - so very very clean, with just a hint of ripe fruit. I love the coffee, and the fact that everyone serves it ALL the time. It's like water. I love eating frijoles for breakfast and that handmade tortillas accompany every meal. I love that every time I'm standing in the airport, crying because the departure overwhelms me, someone asks "¿Se siente bien?" or "Are you feeling ok?". That sort of thing doesn't happen at LAX.
I love the people, the places, the memories, the differences.
And sometimes I don't.
It's hard to go back to a place you remember as a child, when you are an adult. While Guate is my childhood home, it doesn't mean that it has stayed the same now that I'm an adult. This makes me sad, but it also makes me frustrated.
In so many ways this is home to me. The smells, the sights, the lighting, the feelings, the weather. And in so many ways it's not. I can't speak the language very well. I long to get to the point where I can speak without taking a deep breath and pausing to figure out my next sentence. I want to wear a sign that says even though I'm blonde and pale - I'm not here for the tourism. I have a passport that says I belong here.
I look forward to this trip every single time. And I dread the moment I have to leave. I wish I could stay longer and longer. But I don't quite fit, and the times I do stay, I start to feel it. Because right now, I've made sure that I seem like I fit in California. Even if I feel like I don't, I look very much like I do. There's safety in that.
Yet every year I'm spending exorbitant amounts of money to remind myself that I don't.
My favorite kind of vacation.
Going Home.
Well, one of my homes. I was born and lived in Guatemala until I was seven years old. That might seem really young, but when you think that everything I ever knew until the end of first grade was Latin America during a civil war, it might make sense why I had such a hard time adjusting to life in Canada. Rural, farm-country Canada then made it difficult to adjust to Southern California. Sometimes my life feels like it has been one big difficult adjustment.
I love going back to Guate. I love the fact that I can get sunburnt and monsooned in the same day. I love that when the lightening cracks, you see it in a bright straight line right down to the ground. I love how things grow everywhere, any patch of dirt sports an exotic plant. I love how green it is. I love that when you go to McDonald's it's like a nice restaurant, for a fraction of the price, and that they clear your table for you. I love that you have to kiss everyone hello and goodbye, even though in a big group this means it'll be at least 10 minutes before you can actually leave. I love that time stands still, and the whole afternoon seems to stretch into days. I love the smell of the grocery store - so very very clean, with just a hint of ripe fruit. I love the coffee, and the fact that everyone serves it ALL the time. It's like water. I love eating frijoles for breakfast and that handmade tortillas accompany every meal. I love that every time I'm standing in the airport, crying because the departure overwhelms me, someone asks "¿Se siente bien?" or "Are you feeling ok?". That sort of thing doesn't happen at LAX.
I love the people, the places, the memories, the differences.
And sometimes I don't.
It's hard to go back to a place you remember as a child, when you are an adult. While Guate is my childhood home, it doesn't mean that it has stayed the same now that I'm an adult. This makes me sad, but it also makes me frustrated.
In so many ways this is home to me. The smells, the sights, the lighting, the feelings, the weather. And in so many ways it's not. I can't speak the language very well. I long to get to the point where I can speak without taking a deep breath and pausing to figure out my next sentence. I want to wear a sign that says even though I'm blonde and pale - I'm not here for the tourism. I have a passport that says I belong here.
I look forward to this trip every single time. And I dread the moment I have to leave. I wish I could stay longer and longer. But I don't quite fit, and the times I do stay, I start to feel it. Because right now, I've made sure that I seem like I fit in California. Even if I feel like I don't, I look very much like I do. There's safety in that.
Yet every year I'm spending exorbitant amounts of money to remind myself that I don't.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
All My Bags Aren't Packed But I'm Ready to Go
Where did July go? I feel like last weekend was the 4th, and now you're telling me tomorrow is August 1? Well that's just silly.
I haven't posted lately, not because I've been super-busy as usual, but because I've been trying to remember how to relax.
I'm getting there, it's a difficult task.
My morning admin job ended last Friday. That means this whole week I've been able to sleep in, have my coffee in my pajamas, run some errands and then go to my afternoon job. Like I've said all along, I was meant for unconventional work hours.
Thursday was my last day at my afternoon admin job. It's been hard keeping track of what day it is, since it seems like it's been way too long since I sat in an office. I was sure yesterday was Sunday.
What am I going to do now that I am unemployed you ask?
I am fleeing the country. As it is my usual MO in situations that lack clarity.
Blame it on my missionary parents, but traveling seems to calm me down. I get very restless if I'm in one place for too long. And when my trip is over and I come back home I am just reminded of how much I love where I live.
The only downfall to my traveling plan is that I HATE packing. I will pretty much do EVERYTHING else, instead of packing. All of a sudden I get the urge to organize the pantry, sort through my tax forms, even (gasp!) work out, all to avoid packing.
Thus, my blog is finally up to date.
I haven't posted lately, not because I've been super-busy as usual, but because I've been trying to remember how to relax.
I'm getting there, it's a difficult task.
My morning admin job ended last Friday. That means this whole week I've been able to sleep in, have my coffee in my pajamas, run some errands and then go to my afternoon job. Like I've said all along, I was meant for unconventional work hours.
Thursday was my last day at my afternoon admin job. It's been hard keeping track of what day it is, since it seems like it's been way too long since I sat in an office. I was sure yesterday was Sunday.
What am I going to do now that I am unemployed you ask?
I am fleeing the country. As it is my usual MO in situations that lack clarity.
Blame it on my missionary parents, but traveling seems to calm me down. I get very restless if I'm in one place for too long. And when my trip is over and I come back home I am just reminded of how much I love where I live.
The only downfall to my traveling plan is that I HATE packing. I will pretty much do EVERYTHING else, instead of packing. All of a sudden I get the urge to organize the pantry, sort through my tax forms, even (gasp!) work out, all to avoid packing.
Thus, my blog is finally up to date.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Oh the Things That You'll Do!
I spend most of my life on hold.
Seriously.
The majority of my job is to call insurance companies, navigate their voice-activated menu ("BeN-i-FITS, UNDER-writing, REP-RE-SENT-ATIVE!") and then hang out on hold for half an hour. Look mom, that graduate education learned me real swell!
When I'm not on hold, I'm usually stuck in traffic. I pride myself on being an amazing traffic avoider. Taking side-streets, utilizing the faux exit lanes that actually turn into merge ramps, changing lanes like a schizophrenic, these are all things I do. Except I might not be very good at it, because I still spend way too much time in traffic.
Thank goodness I moved out of my old apartment last month because you don't even want to hear about how much time I spent in an elevator everyday.
All these things, they just might end up being my legacy. On my tombstone it will say:
"Her life was very important to us, please do something meaningful or you will be with her shortly".
Did I forget to mention how much fun it is to stand by the fax machine waiting for the flashing light that means the fax went through? That's a great story.
Seriously.
The majority of my job is to call insurance companies, navigate their voice-activated menu ("BeN-i-FITS, UNDER-writing, REP-RE-SENT-ATIVE!") and then hang out on hold for half an hour. Look mom, that graduate education learned me real swell!
When I'm not on hold, I'm usually stuck in traffic. I pride myself on being an amazing traffic avoider. Taking side-streets, utilizing the faux exit lanes that actually turn into merge ramps, changing lanes like a schizophrenic, these are all things I do. Except I might not be very good at it, because I still spend way too much time in traffic.
Thank goodness I moved out of my old apartment last month because you don't even want to hear about how much time I spent in an elevator everyday.
All these things, they just might end up being my legacy. On my tombstone it will say:
"Her life was very important to us, please do something meaningful or you will be with her shortly".
Did I forget to mention how much fun it is to stand by the fax machine waiting for the flashing light that means the fax went through? That's a great story.
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